R.I.P. Anne Marie Gill

I only had the opportunity of meeting Anne Marie Gill on two occasions. Those encounters, brief though they were, gave me an opportunity to experience the natural charisma she exuded. I know Ms. Gill’s family and, in particular, have known her brother Rob for about 20 years. Rob has joined us here, on CYInterview, for some compelling conversations.

I could fill up a bunch of space trying to make sense out of the death of a charismatic, 52 year old woman, but that task is beyond me. I could attempt to characterize her life and challenges, but that is better left to those who truly knew her. Instead, I will say that I am happy to have met her and I am sad that she is now gone.

My cousin passed a few years back, at 32 years of age. His death expressed, in sharp, painful terms, the fragile and uncertain nature of life. In attempting to come to grips with his passing, I wrote a poem. It was part of my grieving process. I published this poem after he died. I now publish it again, below, in memory of Anne Marie Gill.

I want to extend my most sincere condolences and best wishes for healing to the entire Gill family. Rest in peace Anne Marie. You will always be remembered.

For One Gone

Beyond the epic sadness, sorrow and strife
Beyond the days of a hopeless, empty life
Beyond the whooshing, sucking void within
Beyond the face, painted with an all-knowing grin

Beyond the countless attempts at joy
Beyond death’s door and the void that makes us ask why
Beyond the ignorance, apathy and denial
Beyond the moment of a forced and disingenuous smile

Beyond the time when I dreamt of a happy, joyful place
Beyond that moment when I dwelt in a peaceful, loving space
Beyond the mirth, chaos and guile
Beyond the passing of an eternal while

Beyond a chance at redemption and renewal
Beyond the heart, that human jewel
Beyond the kindness of far too few
Beyond the soul of a gal I knew

Beyond the superficial, gleaming gloss
Beyond our habits that act as boss
Beyond our tears and our addiction to doubt
Beyond our strangled, internal shouts

Beyond the simplicity of youthful dreams
Beyond true love, romance and tender scenes
Beyond devotion and duty and what’s just
Beyond decay, disintegration and spiritual rust

Beyond all words that can be said
Beyond all mortals, both living and dead
Beyond the place where we can conceive and think
Beyond a bar and the mindless drink

Beyond the plea to our inner selves
Beyond a place where we do not delve
Beyond salvation and the bliss of all-time
Beyond what is fair and gentle and fine

Beyond all that and beyond more too
Beyond our understanding: fleeting, far and few
Beyond all the beyonds that have been listed here
Beyond everything is naked fear

Fear of what? The question comes
Fear to be or to be not
Fear to live or leave the plot
Fear to quest for buried dreams, or fear of death and leaving this scene?

Reconciling the future is a must
To lessen fear or we might bust
So filled with dread, that we could die
Of anticipation from wanting to know why

But the calming answer, is no answer at all
Because as humans, we are far too small
To unriddle all the mysteries that we live among
And, indeed, they provide us with too much fun

So the solution is clear
At least to me
And I offer it
With bountiful glee

Believe in yourself
And the goodness of man
Believe in the beyond
And another plan

We cannot know all
And we won’t always know why
And loved ones will come
And sometimes they’ll die

And for ourselves
By the time we are ready to leave this dot
We should strive for the answer
Of why and why not

For having to be is better than never having been
And this, first and foremost, is the eternal sin
To damn our existence to the heavens high
When frustrated and grooved in the “Why, oh why?”

So I say this to you
To one and to all
The universe is so big
And I am so small

But I’m glad you were here
If for just a while
Because beyond the sorrow and the pain
Remembering you makes me smile and helps me understand life’s game

-Never forgotten.

Image courtesy of [samuiblue] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.